Can’t help but wonder how it would feel like to write again. So here I am. Trying to see how this feels like. After what has felt like a lifetime of not doing this.

To be honest, I don’t even know what I want to write about. Except that I kind of miss writing.

That’s all.

Oh and I really want to do something that I’m passionate about, everyday in my life. After all , what else can make you happier right? Whatever that is, I have a feeling that I’m inching closer to it.

This feels nice. I think I’m going to do it again.

OH and I was watching one of Hope’s vlogs. There’s this astrophysicist; Neil DeGrasse Tyson. He’s famous for this YouTube video called Cosmic Poetry and in there he said something really beautiful and inspiring…

So inspiring I’m going to write it as my Facebook status. Ha!

He said that we (humans) are all made out of the same atoms that were once contained in the very core of stars…

So the story is, that bazillion years ago, some heavy mass stars exploded and filled the universe with this atom-rich gas and nourished the entire universe with these atoms, and so naturally, when Earth and evolution occurred, we are all made up of these stardust atoms

” We’re all connected to each other biologically, connected to the Earth chemically, and to the universe, atomically”

We are part of the universe, and the universe is part of us.

That is pretty cool for a boring Sunday night.

So for the purpose of releasing a little stress, rather than expressing any temperamental thoughts, I’d blog (it’s been a while since we’ve used theminivan!).

I’ve been thinking ever since last week, maybe I made the biggest mistake. 

I was thinking, “hey, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself”, but having experience of knowing how much done is good enough, I know that complacency has never been a good thing.

When times like these come around, I sometimes feel disconnected.

It’s times like these I wish I could be sitting under a palm tree on a beach somewhere.

Ah well. I kid Can’t wait for it to be over! I do forsee constant shortness of breath, dark eye bags, and a possible stress zit or two. Trust me when I say that it will be in a spot which screams

” LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME! I’M A ZIT! AM I BIG OR WHAT?? * big plump smile* “

They have been hibernating though, so they have been kind I’m not sure what that says about my stress levels and the amount of study I’ve done though

Weather is so darn hot these days the yoghurt which I scooped a mere 5 minutes ago is now lukewarm! This has lead to the disgusting habit of gobbling down my cereal and slurping down the milk/yoghurt so it’s not 34 degrees (temperature outside) when it reaches my mouth! I always end up dissatisfied ( making me want a second bowl of cereal ) and bloated (making me…well, you know, full of..air hahaha)

Okay, well I’m off for another bowl of my favourite Special K (Honey and Almond) – my all-time preferred cereal, apart from Vogels (Oat Clusters) *salivates* which is so expensive I only buy it when it’s on offer, which is almost NEVER. Still kicking myself for not stocking up when it was AUD 3 + as opposed to AUD 6 + now. Practically half-price and I bought one lousy box, of which, a day of Macro study with Timmy, rendered it half full, and then breakfast and snacking the next day, and it was empty! *cries*

Sighs. Back to Special K and Mafs Bee then. Wish me luck for this week! I’ll be back if I come out of it alright

Where I would be lying under palm trees, the wind in my face, sea breeze in my hair and the world at my feet.

Sunshine streaking from the bright blue sky, piercing through fluffy white clouds. Every moment would be perfect.

Moments worth capturing and treasuring. I would discover my ‘true’ self. Explore the unexplored. Push myself beyond boundaries.

Then, I became we. Myself became ourselves. And suddenly the dream was magnified. It would be an adventure of our lifetimes.

New places, new people, new food!

Absorbing the culture, the sights, the sounds, even the smells.

California would have been magical.

I’ll miss this dream.

In 6 days, I’ll dream up a new adventure. For now, it’s back to Laplace transforms, isothermal reactors and PID control! Ooh and I’m having sushi for lunch

I never get sick of Japanese. Maybe I should go to Japan!

http://theyellowapple.wordpress.com/

It’s been a month of birthdays and only more to come in the next few months,

AND OF COURSE A VERY HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO OUR VERY OWN JEANNIE!!!

We planned a big surprise party for her on the 14th but it was pretty much given away by bad acting. Now we know we need someone better to set up surprises… The party was fun though, and we’re all sure everyone enjoyed themselves that night even though the birthday girl ended up having to tend to everyone that was drunk.

I won’t elaborate too much on the party, you just had to be there!

I’ll try save my internet quota this month so unfortunately I won’t post photos. Carol took photos that night so have a look at her blog instead!

Edit: I just walked into the fridge door. I feel like the biggest idiot.

Finished my instructor assessment on Sunday morning at Doug Ellis. Surprisingly only two students out of eight came for their lesson that day. They must have been freaked out they were the only ones that were picked on by me. Tessa said I did ok and pointed out what I could improve on so it was good.

“Your choice of words for this group level… well… um…”

Hmmm, I wonder what the other musos from haileybury are up to these days. Might need a little motivation from them to kick start the project plans.

A lot of people have been asking me why I’ve been acting funny lately. My answer to that is… well, truthfully I can’t justify why I haven’t been myself, but I accept that things haven’t been normal for some time.

Things haven’t been going well since towards the end of last year. Not many people know what’s been going on (nothing to do with relationships). Only a few people know… but I’ll keep that part private. Sadly but honestly, I haven’t been happy for a long time now. And the reason for me acting funny is because I’ve been trying to hide it the best I can. So… all the laughs and lame jokes aren’t… real. I know I have a habit of isolating myself when things are sour, even around friends. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone. I just hope that in hiding it I don’t spoil anyone’s holiday!

Anyway, I won’t make this any longer than it should be. Hopefully things will gradually get better.

Still thinking of ideas for the project. It’s the first time in a couple of years Kazza won’t be giving any input into the writing. It’ll be difficult without her until I can get hold of enough synth patches. I was thinking of trying more of the synthetic patches rather than the organic sounding ones. I know some people have an idiosyncratic dislike for unnatural keyboard sounds so I’m still unsure on what to do.

Been here and there lately but I haven’t felt very productive. I’ve spent the last few days at the pool but I haven’t done much.

I found something I’ve been looking for a long time. What is it? You might find out one day. Here’s something that reminds me,

A suited man smiled said:
“It’s just a matter of time
You can have the world at your feet by tomorrow
just sign on this line.”